Monday, March 8, 2010

digging out

the title of this little post feels oh so appropriate on so many levels.  i have been snowed under with my handwriting job, things of life, sick children and general heartbreak that i feel i am at a point just now where i am no longer being hurled upon (no pun intended, yuck!) with burden after burden, at least long enough to start digging out of this hole in which i've found myself.

where to begin?

my sweet little handwriting job (you can read more about it here) has been few and far between lately so you can imagine my disappointment when they called a few days after my surgery wanting me to pick up a job.  i wasn't allowed to drive at this point, and honestly, it was probably a blessing that i couldn't, otherwise i probably would have accepted and then regretted the decision to do something other than recover.  fortunately, they called a couple of weeks ago and i've been busy with 2 jobs that were due back today.  it is a great little job for me but i get nothing else done during those times.  it takes a certain level of concentration that is just not possible when my 2 little hooligans are running around, so i am relegated to working during rest time or after their bedtime.  this leaves zero personal time which is okay for a time but after a couple of weeks, i seriously need some time to myself doing what i want to do!

sickness, oh how you plague me.  poor little burrito has been sick with one thing after another for the past 6 weeks.  i am thinking now that his little immune system just has not had a chance to recover, therefore succumbing to whatever germ invades his body.  it doesn't help matters that anytime his hands are not busy with an activity, they can be found exploring the inside crevices of his mouth.  can you say "bad habits are hard to break?"  the last ailment was a short lived stomach bug that hit in the car on the way home from mimi's this weekend.  thank the Lord that for some reason i had the ingenious idea of keeping a throw up bag that i procured from my recent hospital visit in the car for just such an occasion.  it made throw up a little more bearable.  so now we are in the stage of wondering "will someone get hit with this next?"  i am so ready for spring break and some warm weather!

i made a rule sometime ago that i will not allow myself to read any blog links to new blogs about someone with some tragedy going on...they are inevitable if you read a dozen or so blogs.  maybe i should be thankful that the Lord made me so sensitive, but i had to make this rule for myself because i get so emotionally involved with these people i've never the point that it clouds my view of reality and further warps my ability to trust the Lord with all things.  i already stink at this so i definitely don't need anything else contributing to my sin.  but i broke my rule (ughh!) a few weeks back and read a blog i shouldn't have about a tragedy that i became totally obsessed with and then it became coupled with a few other real life tragedies in my own circle of life and i just felt totally sad all the time.  do any of you out there do this?

well, it was just the thing to make me anxious about a number of other things in life.  anxiety is a real struggle for me.  i haven't slept a night since my surgery in january without waking up at least once from a crazy dream that stems from my anxiety.  last night it was 3 crazy dreams.  ridiculous!  anyways, all that to say reading the psalms during lent has been SO HELPFUL!  it continually amazes me the relevance of the psalms to my current life.  and have you heard about Beth Moore's new book So Long, Insecurity?  i am so excited to read it.  surely she can solve all my problems right?  i say that with tongue in cheek, of course!

so that's the word today on this crazy life of mine.  i am so thankful for the He uses His Word as a remedy for our afflictions.  i promise to include pics of the new haircuts soon...if i could just have healthy children long enough to take some.

1 comment:

Colored With Memories said...

so sorry for your sicknesses!

let me know what you think of her book!