Tuesday, February 23, 2010

mini makeover

i almost feel like i'm pregnant again.

let me be clear...i'm NOT.  but i have this huge nesting feeling going on this week.  i think it's from being sick and recovering from surgery and then taking care of sick kids the past 4 weeks.  i just haven't been able to DO much lately.  or at least do things that i ENJOY doing.

and since i'm on a serious, "i'm in mucho medical debt" kind of budget, i've had to be a bit creative.  but being on a budget is no new thing around here, so you can imagine my excitement when i had the thought this week to make some cute cafe curtains for my kitchen sink window from dish towels and THEN to find the most amazing dish towels at target marked down 75%!  score!  the dish towels came in a 3 pack so i had to buy 2 sets but each set was only $2.48! 

so for $4.96 for the towels and $3.99 for the tension rod, i made these cute little curtains!

i thought the little yellow band at the bottom of the curtains worked perfectly with my little yellow checked picture.  those yellow checks are actually a piece of wallpaper that came from my grandmother's kitchen.  my parents live in their house now, and before they remodeled (i still don't why they didn't keep that wallpaper, ha, ha!), they saved a piece for my sentimental self.

so for about $9.00 (plus i have 4 other new dishtowels!) i bought myself some pretty cheap happiness this week!

Monday, February 22, 2010

hey dude!

cousins.  dudes.  boys.  whatever you choose to call them, they are certainly cute!  i realize i am a little biased.  i am loving watching these 3 growing up together!

i am also loving reading the psalms for lent.  i've been trying to include verses that really speak to me either here on the blog or on my facebook.  i was thinking that if you are reading along with me, i would LOVE it if you would include your favorite verses in my comments section so that i can "see" what you love too.

here are my favorites from today:
Psalm 36:5  your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies.

Psalm 126:3  the LORD has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.

i am also loving the olympics!  isn't it fun to watch these winter sports?  i think being from texas, a lot of these sports aren't even on my radar.  i started to try and list my favorites but i am really fascinated by them all, even curling! :)

happy birthday george washington.  noodle and i made him a birthday cake today.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

john vs. tree and other saturday things

our cca boys basketball team had a playoff game this morning in plano at 9:00.  we grabbed some donuts and headed out to cheer them on.  unfortunately, we played a much bigger and deeper team and lost.  our boys did great, exhibited a Christian attitude and played hard.  we were very proud.  i was so busy yelling that i forgot to snap a picture this time! :)

to assuage our disappointment we had lunch at cafe brazil.  i had no idea there was one nearby in plano and we just happened upon this one.  the food is seriously good, but don't take my word for it.  check these boys out!  they had already polished off their pancakes before i could whip the camera out!

john and i have some love history here.  well, maybe some pre-love history at the university park location in dallas.  we had coffee one late night with our friend julie and i can remember hoping that he would find me interesting.  that location is the most fun because it rates high on the funkiness register.  great people watching too!

when we came home, john decided to try and conquer our live oak in the front yard.  you'll remember the HUGE snowstorm we had last week.  well, despite john's best efforts to save our limbs from breaking, we still had quite a few succumb to the weight of the snow.   here are the results.

and this is our sad little tree after the haircut.

it could have been much worse i suppose.  and i'm just glad that john did not get hurt pulling all those limbs down.  he had a neighbor helping (we have the BEST neighbors!) but there were a few close calls. 

the rest of the evening was pretty low key...well if there is such a thing with 2 boys!  ha!

Friday, February 19, 2010

psalm 33

during our engagement, starting 150 days out from our wedding date, john and i would read the psalms together over the phone.  it was a great way to stay connected while he was at seminary in philly, and i was here back in texas.  it was also a great way to keep track of how many days we had left till our wedding.

it was a sweet time, and when we were crafting our wedding ceremony, we decided it was important to incorporate one of these psalms.  we really liked psalm 33, particularly the last 3 verses.  it just felt like a proclamation we were making as a couple united in marriage.  when i read this psalm tonight as part of my lent reading, i thought i would share it here, along with it's significance to us.

1  Sing joyfully to the LORD, you righteous; it is fitting for the upright to praise him.
2  Praise the LORD with the harp; make music to him on the ten-stringed lyre.
3  Sing to him a new song; play skillfully, and shout for joy.
4 For the word of the LORD is right and true; he is faithful in all he does.
5 The LORD loves righteousness and justice; the earth is full of his unfailing love.
6 By the word of the LORD were the heavens made, their starry host by the breath of his mouth.
7 He gathers the waters of the sea into jars; he puts the deep into storehouses.
8 Let all the earth fear the LORD; let all the people of the world revere him.
9 For he spoke, and it came to be; he commanded, and it stood firm.
10 The LORD foils the plans of the nations; he thwarts the purposes of the peoples.
11 But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations.
12 Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD, the people he chose for his inheritance.
13 From heaven the LORD looks down and sees all mankind;
14 from his dwelling place he watches all who live on earth--
15 he who forms the hearts of all, who considers everything they do.
16 No king is saved by the size of his army; no warrior escapes by his great strength.
17 A horse is a vain hope for deliverance; despite all its great strength it cannot save.
18 But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,
19 to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine.
20 We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield.
21 In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name.
22 May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in you.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

lent revision

i am so excited to hear that some of you want to join me in reading the psalms for lent this year.  i had originally said i would just read one a day, 1-40, during this period.  my great friend lisa made a much better suggestion, and it's one i intend to adopt.  she suggested i read every 30th one each day except for the day that includes psalm 119 (a LONG one!) and read that one on the 31st day.  this is more of a read the psalms in a month plan, but i still like it better because you get to read all of the psalms.

so for example, yesterday i read psalm 1, 31, 61, 91, 121
today would be psalm 2, 32, 62, 92, 122
and then when i get to days 32-40, i can start over.

does that make sense?  i hope so!

and i already feel blessed in reading those psalms....they are so rich with encouragement!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

ash wednesday: the beginning of lent

i've borrowed much of this from one of my favorite blogs, life in grace, because i think edie has explained lent in a way that i could not do better.  here are her words:

Lent is a 40 day period leading up to Easter that is characterized by prayer, reflection, repentance and often fasting, then culminating in the celebration of the resurrection and the feasting of Easter. It roughly mimics the 40 days Christ retreated to the wilderness and wrestled with the devil.

It’s a methodical way of proceeding through the scriptures and it prevents such things as quickly glossing over the celebration of Christ’s resurrection without spending time in quiet reflection of His death on the cross, the mental anguish and suffering which took place while he was in the wilderness, and the details of the events of His life during Holy Week. It’s like walking in ‘real time’ with Him during the last weeks of His life. Is Lent discussed or commanded , per se, in the scriptures? No, but penitence and fasting and prayer are and what better time to observe a more rigorous christian discipline than as we reflect upon the last days and weeks of the life of Christ.

God our Father, despite our unloveliness, has given us everything we need and has clothed us with the righteousness of Christ, but we, like Adam, want to ‘clothe’ ourselves. Lent is a time to strip down; to take off the filthy clothes of our own righteousness and to let our Father give us from His hand what He knows we need.

We learn from our Father by spending time with Him. There is much He wants to teach us and much that needs to be changed in us. But more than all that, He wants to give us Himself—-knowing that we were created for relationship with Him. And nothing will satisfy the deepest longings of our soul save Our Father’s perfect love. Lent is time to retreat with Our Father. To confess to Him that we have wandered so far from home and that we have become far too ‘comfortable’ in the pleasures of this life. To confess to Him how utterly dependent we have become on everything, but Him. And He will gladly ‘receive’ us back with open arms: not because we demonstrate to Him our growing discipline and holiness, but for the sake of Christ and Him alone.

and I loved this quote too:

“Lent begins with this realization. That we are a people in exile. That we are wandering far from our true home. And thus the beginning of repentance isn’t merely the terror that one finds in wandering in a strange land; the beginning of repentance is homesickness. Lent teaches us to fess up to how often we settle down in the land of our exile as though it were our true home; attempting to still the yearning the Spirit has created by throwing at it physical or psychological pleasure, and how it never works.” courtesy of Pastor Will Weedon

so for lent, i thought i would fast from paying medical bills and taking sick kids to the doctor.  ha, ha, just kidding.  i've got to make jokes like that to keep my sanity.  lent for me is a good accountability opportunity to practice discipline, of which i have none.  zero, zilch, nada.  i'm not kidding.  unfortunately.  seriously, though i want to practice reading consistently over these next 40 days a portion of God's Word.  i love the psalms, especially in these "woe is me" sort of seasons, so i am going to read a psalm a day, 1 through 40 for lent this year. 

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

my focus will be on Jesus

my focus will be on Jesus, my focus will be on Jesus, my focus will be on Jesus...if i say it enough surely it shall be, right? 

i think we all have times where life just feels overwhelming....times when you lie in bed at night gripped with anxiety and sleep will not come.  i've certainly been there before.  i've been there lately, feeling overwhelmed with so many things...sick kids, recovering from surgery, all the medical bills that keep showing up in my mailbox, sick kids again, the daily struggles of life, and sick kids again.  sickness will not leave my house (burrito is sick for the 4th time in a month), sequestering me to these walls that at times seem to be closing in.  and there are those of you out there that have problems and struggles and burdens far heavier than mine.

this is for those of you out there that feel overwhelmed today:

When we lock our eyes on our cancer, arthritis, fibromyalgia, diabetes, or disability, self-pity and bitterness can creep in. When we spend our days rehearsing the tragic death of a loved one, we will interpret all life through the darkness of our suffering. How much better when we focus upon Jesus!

“Let us fix our eyes on Jesus... who for the joy set before him endured the cross.” The following verse commands us, “Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart” (Hebrews 12:2–3).

However great our suffering, his was far greater. If you feel angry at God, what price would you have him pay for his failure to do more for people facing suffering and evil? Would you inflict capital punishment on him? You’re too late. No matter how bitter we feel toward God, could any of us come up with a punishment worse than what God chose to inflict upon himself?

Tim Keller writes,

If we again ask the question: “Why does God allow evil and suffering to continue?” and we look at the cross of Jesus, we still do not know what the answer is. However, we know what the answer isn’t. It can’t be that he doesn’t love us. It can’t be that he is indifferent or detached from our condition. God takes our misery and suffering so seriously that he was willing to take it on himself.... So, if we embrace the Christian teaching that Jesus is God and that he went to the Cross, then we have deep consolation and strength to face the brutal realities of life on earth.

If you know Jesus, then the hand holding yours bears the calluses of a carpenter who worked with wood and carried a cross for you. When he opens his hand, you see the gnarled flesh of the nail scars on his wrists. And when you think he doesn’t understand your pain, realize that you don’t understand the extent of his pain. Love him or not, he has proven he loves you.

If you hate suffering, does it make sense to choose eternal suffering when God has already suffered so much to deliver you from it?

In your most troubled moments, when you cry out to God, “Why have you let this happen?” picture the outstretched hands of Christ, forever scarred... for you.

Do those look like the hands of a God who does not care?

excerpted from Randy Alcorn's book If God Is Good
(thanks lisa and michelle for sharing this on FB)

Sunday, February 14, 2010

my loves

i love my Savior.
i love my family.  i have a great one.
i love my two boys.  i always wanted to be a mom of boys.
i love my church, the hands and feet of Christ.
i love my neighbors.
i love my friends.
i love to love all these people EVERY day of the year, but appreciate this day to remind me to be thankful for them.

and i LOVE my husband.

we laugh because we never shared a valentine's day as a courting couple.  we started courting february 18, 2002 and were married january 11, 2003.  i tease john that he purposefully waited to court me until AFTER valentine's day!

at the risk of being way too mushy, i have been saving these words for many weeks in anticipation of this day.  my husband is amazing, and i knew this when i said yes to his proposal.  if you don't know our story, you can read all about it here.  these past few weeks of being sick and having surgery and then recovering, my husband has shown his love for me in ways that i would never have imagined. 

he held my hand while i laid in the emergency room and as the ER doctor told me that i would lose an ovary.  he made phone calls on my behalf to work out the details of the surgery.  he woke up with me in the middle of the night to give me medication and food so the meds would not make me sick.  he ran around the obgyn office looking for a trash can for me to puke into when i was sick from the pain meds.  he comforted me the night before surgery.  he shared his ipod with me as i waited in the pre-op area of the hospital waiting to be taken back for surgery.  he coordinated help and meals from all our sweet friends who wanted to help.  he kept everyone updated with my condition.  after a long day at the hospital he came home to two sick boys and didn't complain once about the demands that were placed on him that day.  he made breakfast, lunch and dinner for all of us and served me in bed.  he stayed close by when i showered or got dressed to offer help when it was needed.  he took burrito to school every morning and then would come back home to get noodle and i set for the day by making our lunch.  he had tons of patience with our boys, being both mom and dad to them for days.  he tucked me into bed each night, making sure i was comfortable and warm.

in many ways i feel closer to him now more than ever.  this is in some ways what i imagine old age to be like....one of us caring for the other in such a tender way.  and for me this was our wedding vows coming to life...in sickness or in health, for better or for worse.  i am thankful to my Lord who gave me such a gift.

happy valentine's day!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

boys basketball playoff game

while we didn't have school yesterday thanks to our 12 INCHES OF SNOW, we did venture out last night to watch our CCA boys play in a basketball playoff game against midland classical school.  we took uncle daniel with us after eating some pizza that he brought over for dinner.  we got there a little early to get our favorite seats.  here's noodle watching the game and eating some popcorn.

here's the fake smile and "i'm too busy watching other people to actually look at the camera" look from burrito.

and of course at some point in the game the boys have to pretend to be playing a basketball game of their own, complete with body contact and obnoxiousness.  the people around us think it's hysterical.

and then there's noodle's love affair with the cheerleaders.  you can't see them in this picture but they're on the right side of the court here and i'm pretty sure he's mimicking whatever moves they're doing.  oh dear!

but fortunately his real love affair is with basketball.  i think he's sinking a basketball with this move don't you?  notice his feet that aren't even on the floor!

the game was a bit of a nail biter.  the first half was close with our boys a little behind in the scoring, partly thanks to the bad calls of the refs.  but they came back in the second half and won by 10 points.  i don't know what i am going to do when my own two boys play competitively.  i get a little too into the game, and i get so stressed out, and these aren't even my own children playing yet!  john loves to make fun of me!

Friday, February 12, 2010

before and after

so when i took this picture yesterday i was thrilled to see we had 6 inches of snow on the ground.  i don't remember ever seeing 6 inches of snow in texas.
you can imagine my delight when i measured 12 inches of snow this morning!  and i probably could have found some spots even deeper than that!  CRAZY!

and in case you missed this picture of our cute snowman from yesterday, here he was in all his freshly-built glory.

and this is our poor snowman this morning after all the snow.  there's just something hysterical to me about a snowman being buried in snow!
we were a little concerned about our trees with all the snow.  we have a HUGE live oak in both the front and backyard.  poor john was out every few hours yesterday and again this morning trying to knock some of the snow out of them.  they were getting so droopy we were afraid they would snap and break under the weight of the snow.  fortunately, we woke up this morning with no damage.  as i sit here and type this, i can see the snow falling out of the trees more and more.  the temperature must be rising a bit.

john had his turn with the boys in the snow this morning.  the boys didn't last too long out there.  living in texas, we just don't have the appropriate snow wear, and they were freezing once their clothes started getting a little wet.  nonetheless, it is quite a treat to experience this and marvel at the beauty.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

crazy snow!

this is the view down our street today.  it is quite remarkable. 

and here is the actual proof.  6 inches of snow at 3pm this afternoon and it is still snowing.  i think the last prediction i heard was 9 to 11 inches of snow when it's over.  i plan to take another measurement picture in the morning!  i'm pretty sure this will break some sort of snowfall record for our area.  i have never seen this much snow here before.

john and burrito had school today, but it has been canceled for tomorrow.  we are excited to have a jammie day at home.  of course, lately with all the sickies around here, that's nothing new!  but i am glad that john will get a chance to play with the boys in the snow tomorrow.

noodle and i built this snowman this morning.  we used our mr. potato head pieces for his face.  we can see him from the window in our dining room.  i think he's cute.

noodle enjoyed the taste of the snow.  i convinced the boys to catch it in their mouths rather than pick it up from the ground to eat.  this was no easy feat.  neither was convincing them not to spend the time to build a snowman, only to immediately knock it down.  boys!  all they want to do is destroy!
once burrito was home from school, he got in on the snowball fight action.  i tried to get both of them to bundle up but their idea of bundling up is putting on a jacket!

noodle was up for the challenge in round 2 of our snow adventures.  it looks like he got hit by a snowball in the head in this picture but i think it was just snow on his hat!
he's made quite an improvement in his attitude towards snow.  a couple of years ago it snowed a few inches and he was just 2 and didn't really understand the fun factor of snow.  he saw it as something weird he'd never seen before and was totally petrified.  it was seriously funny.  we would put him down in it and he would just stand there and refuse to move!  that was not the case today!
and here's my oldest angel making a snow angel.  he loved the snow so much he just couldn't help but run and fall all in it.

while typing this, the weather man came on during a commercial break and it looks like some areas are reporting 10 inches of snow now.  i am thankful that the boys have had the chance to experience something we rarely see here in texas.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

normal, i've missed you

i know what you're thinking...

"finally, a blog post about something other than jenn's health!"

let me assure you, i am just as excited. it seems that normal has once again returned to our home. well, mostly normal...noodle woke up with a tummy ache this morning (i think it might be a touch of the stomach bug going around), but as much as we've been sick lately, even that feels normal!

so here are some signs of normalcy. we were able to babysit our nephew, who we've decided to lovingly call porkchop here on the blog (in keeping with the foodie names, of course!) on friday night while his mom and dad went to see a movie. the boys are insanely obsessed with him. they were sure to commentate every single little move he made.

and in case you can't read what porkchop's little shirt says, i would not want you to miss this detail. it says, "my aunt rocks!" love it!

with all the craziness lately, i've neglected sharing with you some little treasures we've found in our thrifting outings lately. i found this book at half price books and LOVE it! the ranch house is the term that refers to a house built in the post-WWII era, typically in the 1950's -1960's. there is a ton of eye candy in this book and makes me long for my mid century ranch that someday we shall purchase and live in. every time i look at this book, i can't help but jump on the computer and check out the homes for sale in our area that were built in this time period.

the weekend before the torsed ovary hit, we found these plates (a set of 4) at an antique mall in denton. they are made by royal china and are called the star glow pattern. we like them because they match our atomic mid century china cabinet and hutch that i pictured here. the day before the torsed ovary craziness, i found a huge set of these dishes at a reasonable price about an hour away. some were still in the original boxes! the plan was for me to drive and pick them up the next day, but instead i had the privilege of driving to the e.r. they are no longer listed so i am sure another mid century lover picked them up. i was sad, but i'm happy with the 4 plates that we have for now. besides, now i have one more thing to add to my treasure hunting list!

i've had great luck finding vintage tupperware at our local goodwill lately. i am a sucker for vintage tupperware. so is my mom. it must be genetic. ha!
now if everyone could get well around here, i could go treasure hunting again!

Monday, February 8, 2010

even steven

the Lord has been teaching me so many things over the course of the past 3 weeks. some of those lessons have been easier than others.

we had to trust the Lord with my health. we had to trust the Lord with the details of the surgery. we are trusting the Lord to provide. we have learned to ask and accept help when we need it.

in learning these lessons, i have been reminded of a mental struggle i have wrestled with much of my life. that struggle is this:

i want things even steven: having nothing due or owed on either side.

regardless of how hard i try to accept gifts with no strings attached, i still want to attach strings. it is very hard for me to believe that anyone would want to help me without expecting something later in return. or perhaps i think that people feel obligated to offer help, but deep down inside they don't really want to help and secretly hope that i won't accept their offer. or maybe this is how my selfish nature wants to think, and so i project this thinking onto other people.

i feel like things have to be even steven. if you do something for me, then i owe something in return. and even steven doesn't necessarily have to be the same exact thing in return for what was gifted to me. nonetheless, i feel compelled to try and balance the scales.

strangely, this doesn't usually translate into my relationship with Christ. granted, i do act a certain way because i call myself a Christian, but my actions are not a means to salvation. i can accept grace. my salvation was bought at a price, namely Christ's death on the cross. i cannot add to that.

so what has me thinking about my even steven mentality tonight?

as you know, i've been quite transparent in sharing how this surgery affects our finances, despite our inclination to keep those things private. the Lord has acted on our behalf in working out an amazing agreement with the hospital and the doctors involved. we wanted to be transparent in this area because we knew we needed prayer. we are glad that we have been transparent in this area because we've been able to share the Lord's provision for us with you. it reminds me of what our pastor said to us in our wedding vows: this is for your benefit and God's glory. indeed God, we give You the glory for all You have done for us.

the hospital and doctors have been quite gracious. it seems easier to accept help from a hospital or from a doctor because it seems they are in a position (namely a better financial position) to be able to help.

it is harder for me to accept help from a friend who is giving sacrificially. i don't know how to accept this type of gift. i want to refuse it because i know it is sacrificial. i want to change the terms and conditions of their gift..."this is too much. if you want to help us, just give us this (fill in the blank here) instead." it makes me uncomfortable because i wonder if the situation were reversed, would i be willing to give like that? if this friend is giving us this gift out of obedience to the Lord and i refuse their gift, am i causing them to disobey? if giving us this gift brings them joy, am i robbing them of joy by refusing it?

all these questions are rolling around in my head tonight. can you help me make sense of them? do you have these same struggles? i think my struggle with this particular gift is it's significance to us and the help it brings to our situation. it just feels like it's too much to accept, while at the same time, it is just what we need.

i know the joy that comes from blessing others. it feels good to help others. it is a lesson we have tried to teach and model to our boys. i can give. i like to give. i don't know how to receive.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

pathology and insurance

i had my follow up appointment with the obgyn/surgeon this morning. i had a whole list of questions ready to ask. two of the four incisions still bleed when i take a shower and the right incision is still bruised and swollen.

well, she alleviated all my fears. the incisions are healing nicely, despite the occasional bleeding (she said this was normal). the right incision is bruised, but she was not surprised by that at all because she knew she yanked that one around more during surgery (ouch!). she lifted all my restrictions and seemed to think i would be back to normal in a couple more weeks.

i have to go back for one more follow up at the end of this month and then i am officially over and done with this drama!

and the pathology report: BENIGN!!! praise the Lord! while we were expecting a benign diagnosis, it was still a relief to hear the official report.

so we are so thankful for your prayers and the Lord's favor towards us!

and for whatever reason i feel like i need to explain our insurance situation. i've been thinking about it over the past several days. john's employer does offer insurance. in fact, they were just up for re-enrollment on february 1, so all of this is current information. we are quite fortunate that john's employer pays 90% of his insurance coverage. the remaining is nominal and is taken automatically out of john's check each pay period.

if we were to carry family coverage through john's employer our monthly premium would be $1200! that premium is more than our monthly mortgage! seriously, who can afford that? and while we are certainly not advocates of obama's health plan, we are that part of the population that finds itself in a bad situation.

so last february, we decided to investigate other options for coverage for me and the boys. we applied and the boys were approved. i was denied. i don't have cancer, i don't require daily medication, i've just had a few blips on the radar (case in point, this cyst!) that apparently they didn't like. it's really sad. while i should have argued and pursued a better outcome, i didn't. i was happy the boys had coverage and had plans to reapply with another company for myself when things settled down. well, things never settle down around here, and i never followed up with anything. i've been healthy (because i generally am!) and haven't had a need to even see a doctor.

until two weeks ago.

so i guess i just felt like defending myself if anyone out there in blogland thought that i was irresponsible for not having insurance. we simply cannot afford it. and honestly, thanks to the good nature of the hospital and doctors (though i should probably attribute their provision ultimately to the Lord), we will pay less for the surgery than what we would have paid in insurance premiums for a year. but maybe now i'll be motivated to navigate the mess of insurance coverage and try to find an affordable plan that will take me and all my strange health anomalies!

thanks again for all your prayers! we are praising the Lord for His care and provision!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

because if i don't laugh i might cry

so i'm having a "woe is me" kind of day. the clouds and rain outside are not helping.

why am i reveling in woe? the past 2 weeks have included a trip to the ER, an unexpected surgery, a slow recovery, both boys with strep throat, burrito sick with vomiting and now burrito is sick AGAIN with a virus.

just when i thought i was actually going to get out of the house and go to bible study, burrito woke up with a 103 degree fever. i was convinced that the strep was back, that maybe the antibiotic didn't kick it, but i was wrong. we went to the pediatrician this morning and the strep test came back negative, so we are assuming it's viral.

i just wanted to crawl back into bed in the fetal position.

in my head i know that this is just a tough season of life. i know that with young kids there will be numerous illnesses as they build their immunity. i know that in a few weeks all of this will be a distant memory, but right now it is so hard.

being home not feeling 100% coupled with the responsibility of caring for young, sick children for days on end is enough to make me certifiably insane. then add to that all the medical bills that have started rolling in, the piles of mail and other papers to go through, and the daily chores that go along with running a household, i just feel plain overwhelmed.

but to be honest, that's a good place for me to be.

because when i feel overwhelmed, it is then that i lean even closer to Christ. i feel like my soul just needs to drink in the promises of Scripture during these times. how do people survive without Him?

i have my follow up appointment with the obgyn/surgeon tomorrow. i am hoping to find out the results of the pathology of the cyst. i'll post another update tomorrow.

Monday, February 1, 2010

because there's never a dull moment around here

so i did make it to church yesterday morning. my ensemble consisted of my mom's workout pants, john's long sleeve shirt and my jacket. a true fashion statement. but i was so desperate to get out of the house, not to mention worship, that i just couldn't care how i looked.

worship was great but totally wiped me out. it's amazing how little energy one has after laying around for 2 weeks. i came home and slept all afternoon. i had great intentions of going to small group that night but it just didn't happen.

and sleeping all afternoon didn't exactly help me to fall asleep easily at bedtime last night. but that ended up being a good thing since burrito walked in around 11:30p and announced that he had just vomited in his bed. oh joy! and i was just talking to a friend about how much i despise vomit.

so then the stripping of the sheets, spraying of the lysol and getting everyone resettled ensued. by the time i returned to my bed, sleep was just a tease. it didn't help matters that i tried a new pain medicine concoction that i certainly won't be repeating. i was anxious and uncomfortable all night.

but praise the Lord, the vomiting has not returned and we're just hanging out together at the house today. and i keep reminding myself that while i don't enjoy vomit or recovering from abdominal surgery, it certainly could be worse.

and for a quick dose of humor, noodle explained to me earlier that he was going to be "really busy tonight so i needed to bring him his water" (instead of him getting it for himself, you know, because i am his personal waitress!). when i inquired as to what would be keeping him so busy, he replied matter-of-factly that "he would be busy working out with the wii tonight." the mental picture i have of him doing exercises makes me giggle!