habakkuk, surgeries and pathology.

Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, YET I will rejoice in the Lord; I will take joy in the God of my salvation. God, the Lord, is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of the deer's; he makes me tread on my high places.

Habakkuk 3:17-19

this scripture was part of our wedding ceremony. i first heard this particular passage at passion '99, a college worship gathering that forever changed my view of God. john piper spoke of suffering and shared this passage, which was a part of his wedding ceremony. when i heard it, i knew that i, too, wanted this read at my wedding, you know, if i ever got married. i was convinced back then that i would be the first baptist nun! ha!

piper says this about this particular passage:

"habakkuk has ended in song! he has gotten a glimpse of the glory of God, and despite the certain suffering that looms on the horizon, he knows that this God will be enough for him."

i wanted this included in our wedding because i think it is a perfect picture of the magnitude of your wedding vows; that no matter what may come, the Lord is our salvation, and that alone is enough.
and we've all walked the road of suffering, haven't we? it is the nature of this world in which we now live. sin entered in and as a result, all have fallen, all have been touched by suffering. and it's easy to think that philosophically we will trust the Lord and rest in His sovereignty until real suffering hits. we find ourselves having to choose fear or peace in Christ.
i've had several people ask about the pathology of my cyst. it has been sent off but the results have not come back yet. i can sense the concern when people inquire about it. and i admit, the fear of cancer is a real one for me. i fear death, partly because i cannot believe that heaven is better than this life i have with my husband and family. i have to constantly remind myself that heaven really is better. Scripture says so (better is one day in your courts o Lord than a thousand elsewhere...psalm 84:10).
and believe it or not, this is the third time we have walked this road. since being married (just 7 years ago), i've had 2 other instances, one requiring surgery, where we were wondering, "do i have cancer?" so maybe fear of cancer just hasn't been a real concern because this is not new territory for us. or perhaps, because statistics show that the type of cyst i had is rarely malignant (2% or less), we do not fear. or hopefully it is because we can rest in Christ and His Word that says even if all is stripped away, we will yet rejoice in Christ and take joy in the God of our salvation.
this is a hard thing. and i am not very good at it.