turning a corner, maybe?

after two very difficult days, today has been much better. i am hoping that this means i am turning a corner.

i think i have a hematoma at the incision site on my right side. this has happened to me before after a previous surgery and it is quite painful. basically it is a hard knot where blood has pooled below the surface of the skin. it is quite large and unreasonably painful. i think i tried to do a little too much on wednesday (i.e. 3 loads of laundry) and that probably didn't help matters. i know, i know, what was i thinking!?!?! i was thinking there were a lot of dirty clothes in this house!

as a result, i was confined to the couch much of the day yesterday and stayed out of pain as long as i didn't move. then i made a poor choice by not taking any pain meds before bed last night. i didn't think they were doing much good. i was wrong! i woke up at 4am this morning in some intense, make you want to cry, pain. after taking some meds and listening to the ipod as a distraction, i was able to go back to sleep and woke up feeling much better.

today has been much better. i can walk across the room in an upright position again. i've kept an ice pack on the hematoma and that seems to have helped. i've taken pain meds religiously and my sweet friend kyla and her kids came for a visit. i am praying that things will only get better from here.

i think my recovery expectations were a little unrealistic. i thought for sure i would be back to my normal self by now. after trolling the internet investigating recovery stories of people who have had this surgery, i realize the inaccuracy of my expectations. it seems that every person is different, but no one has recovered in one week's time. and i just thought i was superwoman!

i can tell my body is adjusting to having only one ovary. my hormones seem to be, shall we say, a little erratic, though the doctor assured me that over time my body would adjust. i drove for the first time yesterday to pick burrito up from school and while i felt quite horrible, it was also liberating to get out of this house! i am thankful that it is the weekend, and i will have my husband for company. i am hoping to make it to church on sunday, but we will see how i feel. i am a little wardrobe-challenged right now, as the incisisions are still sensitive, so if we do make it to church, i'm not sure what type of outfit i will be able to concoct!

there's a fire in our fireplace and a movie waiting for me to watch. i am thankful for your prayers.